Culture Clash

One of the things I've noticed most since being abroad is how much American culture is exported. When I was in Thailand, I took a 10-hour bus ride to Bangkok where they played "Die Hard 3" dubbed in Thai. You haven't lived until you've heard the Thai voice they use for Samuel L. Jackson. Another funny thing is that one of my co-teachers occasionally thanks me for things that he likes about America. For example:

Him: Hey Brett.
Me: Hey.
Him: "Remember the Titans." Thank you.
Me: You're welcome.

It's good and bad. I went to the movie theater last week and the only movies playing were American; "Marley and Me" and some movie about a Playboy bunny. I was slightly ashamed.

The pervasiveness of American culture is apparent even where you might least expect it. I went to the Taiwan Lantern Festival, a showcase of traditional Taiwanese lanterns from all over Taiwan celebrating Chinese New Year (it's the year of the bull). While I'm perusing, I suddenly hear Busta Rhymes' "A-rab Money" blaring through the speakers and I turn around and see some Taiwanese breakdancers on the main stage. That act was followed by two Taiwanese rappers (a guy and a girl) rapping in Chinese to Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady."

I can't say I don't contribute to this trend. This week my students are learning comparatives (harder, better, faster, smarter) so I played Kanye West's "Stronger." They loved it. I even had a dance-off with one of my students. I think you know who won.

Aight, here are some pics of the lanterns from the Lantern Festival (it looks a lot cooler at night). Also some pics of my co-teachers with some Ladyboys from their trip to Thailand.

Thailand pics

Good times



My man Jackson. He's from Hawaii. If that explains anything...



Life's a beach

Clint and Marianne. My South African peoples

Me on an elephant with Clint's momma

Everything on the table is mine except the LSAT book

Me and Mary. Yeaaa roommates!

Feeding some monkeys. A lot like teaching, actually. JK

Don't mess wit me. Actually I saw 2 Thai boxing fights that were awesome. Lots of elbows and blood

Me and Natasha. She calls me "Mien Bao" which in Chinese means "bread" bcuz it sound like "Brett"

beautiful sunsets. There were a lot of these.

French dude, mad cool. And Alana laxin out.

Again. Beauty-full

Some Swedish friends we made in Bangkok.

That's the man right thur.

Mien Bao and Natasha

Keepin it real

So....how was Thailand?

It was amazing. Thank you for asking. I mean, it was truly Fabolous (like the rapper). I had like two vacations in one. The first 10 days I spent at the beach, drinking shakes made from blended fruit, goin to clubs, watching the sunset ("if you couldn't see the sun risin off the shores of Thailand" as Jigga put it).

The second 10 days were drastically different. I checked in (is that the right phrase?) to a Bhuddhist monestary for a 10-day silent mediation retreat. No talkin for 10 days. Wakin up at 4 AM. Two vegetarian meals a day. I even took off my glasses so I wouldn't be distracted by the hot European girls in yoga pants. But it was really an incredible experience. Wake up before sunrise. I slept on a slab of concrete and what they called a "Bhudda pillow" which is literally a block of wood. Also, sitting for 45 minutes straight is excruciatingly painful. Feel free to try it. I also heard some lectures from Thai monks about death. You know how it is. The long and short is that I learned a lot about myself and reached new levels of mental concentration.

Tip: IF you see a group of Thai prostitutes, cross the street. I had to escape from this one ho who grabbed my shirt as I was walkin by. I took her arm off me but then she grabbed me again so I started running and then she chased me down the street for about a block. Luckily for our hero, I am fast as lightning. And she was in high heels. But another "ladyboy" gave me a ride back to my hotel one night and was very polite so they not all bad.

Maybe pics in a separate post. Stay tuned. It's good to be back, y'all.

BRB

Dear loyal (and intermittent) readers,

I am going to Thailand tomorrow. I do not anticipate updating TaiMeiTaiwan. Please check back Feb 12. That is all.

Sincerely,
The most high and relatively exalted,
Tox

The juice guy and the hot springs

Every morning I go and get a glass of freshly made juice from this shop near my house. It is goooood. They put like spinach and pineapple and apples and all kinds of crazy fruits and vegetables in there and just blend it all together. Mad healthy. Anyway, the husband and wife who own it are super nice. When I got sick last week, the dude invited me to go to the hot springs with him because he says, "its good for your body." And its getting cold here now, so I'm like, "perfect."
Now, I've been to hot springs in Taiwan before. I went with my roommates Paige and Mary a month ago. It was cool. There was different colored water, we had to wear showercaps, and they had this pool where small fish ate the dead skin off your feet. I was like, "I got this hot spring thing."
But when I talked to the Juice Guy on the phone I was like, "should I bring my bathing suit?" and he was like, "sure, maybe on the ride back you can change into it." That's when I should've got suspicious.
Anyway, we get to the hot spring. It was different from the other one I went to in one very significant way. I walk in, and immediately there are 50 naked Taiwanese men staring at me. So while the first 2 minutes were kinda uncomfortable, the following two hours were extremely enjoyable. I just took a "when in Rome" outlook to it and relaxed. It was a beautiful night and I talked to some interesting people. And not to flatter myself, but the Taiwanese men seemed very interested in my American body. I'm just sayin.

Haikus

Taiwan is my home.
What a strange experience
to eat with chopsticks

Rap in the classroom.
Rice and noodles with tofu.
I am Teacher Brett.

Old women ride bikes
Stray dogs roam the streets freely
It is rush hour

"You are so handsome."
The funny American
is laughing again

"Do you speak Chinese?'
"Yes, a little," I reply.
Confusion follows

My motorcycle
Although it is fun to ride...
no Taiwanese girls

I enjoy the beach.
I contemplate the ocean
and the beer is good.

To belch at dinner
is not rude or impolite.
What a great culture!

Speed limits: not real.
Traffic lights: a suggestion.
I did not know this.

My students are great
The food and the people, too
I am happy here

28,000 Word Post

I haven't written in awhile cuz I got the flu, but since my experience at the Taiwanese hospital was pretty good (and waaay better than that time I had to go to a Montreal hospital), I'm already feeling better. A lot has happened since: I had a Chanukkah where we put birthday candles in a pomelo, a Christmas where I went to a Taiwanese church, and a New Years where I watched fireworks from my window. But right now I'm just gonna chill with all that and show you some pics of my students.
These are from when we had class outside a few weeks ago. The assignment: find an object for each letter of the alphabet (e.g., apple, bee, cloud). This was with some of my best students, who also happen to be really cool kids.
This is a short post, I guess I'm gettin ready to go on vay-kay soon. But if a picture is worth 1,000 words, then this here is like a 28,000 word post. But as the great rapper once said: "Really, what's really 1,000 words really worth?/ I can describe the whole earth in one really absurd verse."

Me and Yvonne
Me and Wendy







Sara and Ann

Sara is one of the smartest students in the whole school. I think she stumped me here.
Leo. Always smiling.












The whole class
Duck...
Duck...