Weddings

I've been to two weddings in Taiwan. A few things about Taiwanese weddings:

At the last one I went to, they served chicken testicles. Really. I didn't even know chickens had testicles. And apparently they're supposed to make you virile or something because my co-teacher was chewin on one when he turned to me and said, "my wife likes it when I eat these. Do you know what I mean?" His wife was sitting right next to him at the time, so i was just like, "yea...I know what you mean." They also told me how in China they eat tiger penis, which is supposed to make you more "manly." Luckily for me, I could not possibly be any manlier so I dont gotta worry about it. I gained a whole new appreciation for keeping Kosher, though.

One custom they have at weddings that I really like is that the bride and groom go around and have a toast with every table. I'ma try to do that at my wedding. Its a nice way to schmooze/show respect to your guests and get smashed at the same time.

The second wedding was actually really cool cuz it was my aunt Cecilia's brother. My aunt is from Taiwan, so it was sorta strange to meet family for the first time. To the groom I was like, "nice to meet you. And congratulations on getting married!" But they were incredibly gracious to me, seated me at an "important" table and arranged for me to eat vegetarian food.

The only thing that I kinda dislike is the lack of dancing at Taiwanese weddings. There wasn't even a DJ. There were, fortunately, many beautiful Taiwanese women. But I couldn't dance with any of them! And I know they woulda felt my style, too. It was kinda like that Twilight Zone episode where the guy just wants to be alone in a room reading books all day and then he dies and goes to heaven and heaven is a library but then he breaks his glasses. Or 10,00 spoons and all you need is a knife. Or something like that.

My uncle and his wife, me and my friend Kelly:

Obama Breakfast

My friend Latrice (whatup Trice!) asked me what the reaction to Obama is out here. Lemme just say they already ahead of America in terms of gettin behind Obama: the breakfast shop a few blocks from my apartment is called "Obama Breakfast."

They named it that like 3 months ago because the people who owned it were banking that Obama was going to win and that that would be a cool name for a place that sells dan bing (see below). When Obama won I was at school, and all the teachers kept coming into my office and congratulating me like I had done something/won something. But i felt what they were saying, because there's really a vibe here of being impressed with America again.
Surprisingly, one of the things they were really interested in is the concept of absentee ballots, which don't exist in Taiwan. Even soldiers stationed abroad can't vote without coming back to Taiwan. They were like, "really?! you can just mail a letter?! How do they know it's really you?"

And ironically, "Obama" sounds a lot like the Chinese word, "banma," which means zebra. A zebra, of course, is half-black and half-white.

I also led all of my classes for that day with the chant, "Hello Obama! Goodbye Bush!" because we were learning the Beatles song "Hello Goodbye." I highly encourage you to ellicit chants of "Hello Obama!" from any Taiwanese schoolchildren you meet. They really love it.

Taiwanese dan bing, good breakfast for cheap:

Halloween in Taiwan

SO they don't really do Halloween here, but since they got an American (me) they wanted to try it out. As you can see, they got really into it and did a really good job. I wrote my own ghost story that I told the kids (it was pretty good, if I do say so myself) and we had a costume contest. And then the kids trick-or-treated around the school at the different classrooms, since if they knocked on their neighbors door dressed like a ghoul or wtvr who knows what would happen.
That reminds me of this time I was goin to my friend Jesse's house and I'd only been there a few times so I knocked on the door and no one answered so I just walked in and it totally was not his house and there was this elderly Indian woman sitting there watching TV and there I was with like my hood up and a bubble coat on walking in her front door. She didn't speak any English, so I tried to explain but just slowly started backing out the door and then she called her husband and HE came down and I just kept repeating how sorry I was and luckily he spoke Enlgish and he was like, "it's aight, it's aight," and it made me realize how lucky I am to live in an area where gun ownership isn't commonplace. But I digress.

My Aboriginal Fam

So they set us up with a host fam out here, not like a host fam that you live with but who you hang out with, do some cultural exchange with, and drink beers at kareoke bars with. My host fam happens to be aboriginal, which means they're descnded from one of the 14 tribes native to Taiwan before the Chinese first came about 400 years ago (and before the Chinese came again like 60 years ago). The tribe my family is from is the Atayal, known for their facial tatoos. I'll think about getting one.

Anyway, my fam is mad cool. They took me to this aboriginal cultural dance show, which was dope. It reminded me a lot of Bhangra, actually. Also reminscent of Punjabi culture is the aboriginal peolpe's proclivity for alcohol consumption. I'm down with that. Here are some pics, some from the aboriginal dance show and the others from kareoke, where we drank a lifetime's worth of "Taiwan Beer" (motto: "in lieu of Stella Artois, drink this"), sang some classic 1950's songs, and hung out with the kids.

(Teenage Mutant Ninja) Turtle Island

We went to Turtle Island, off the Northeast coast of Taiwan. It has Taiwan's only active volcano and we climbed a hiking trail of 1,706 steps. I got a lil seasick on the boat ride over, but I think it was because my jewels be flooded.

Stereotypes in Taiwan

I've had some interesting exchanges as far as stereotypes, recently.

A 73-year old Taiwanese artist in Taipei told me that he favored McCain in the upcoming election because Obama was from "Africa" and McCain was "American," and that, "people from Africa always fighting."

Another Taiwanese guy in his 30's told me about his friend who lived in Chicago who told him that Chicago was full of "spearchuckers." I then had to explain to him what a "slur" is, the words "spear" and "to chuck," and what a "compound word" is.

As far as perceptions of Jewish people go, whenever people find out that I'm Jewish they immediately ask me if I'm good at math. Of course, I am horrendous at math. I also tell them how Americans think that Asians are the ones that are good at math.

Anyway, Ima do my best to keep breakin down these stereotypes whenever I can. And maybe Obama can help me do that come November.

My Neck, My Back...My Qi

I got a Taiwanese massage. It was the most excruciating continuous 90 minute period of my life, but I liked it. It gave me a whole new awareness of my body. I was literally laughing in pain at several times, like when the elderly Taiwanese man who gave me the massage was dislocating each individual joint in my toes (at least that's what it felt like). I also got a "scraping," where basically they take one of those things they use to clean breadcrumbs off the table at restaurants and run it over your back.
This type of massage is based on ancient Chinese medicine. It focuses on your Qi, the ancient Chinese concept of "energy flow" or "lifeforce." While I was getting my massage, I concentrated on my breathing and tried to relax as much as possible. When I go back again, Ima get an analysis of my Qi.
I predict that my Qi will be deemed "gangsta."
Here is a picture of my back after the massage. You should see the other guy...